And sometimes, that is all you need to hear.
Because the truth is, a whole lot of the time, we feel like we DON’T have it. Somewhere in between being an amazing, laundry doing, hair braiding, dinner making, working, cleaning, booboo kissing BADASS, we find ourselves doubting that we are doing a good enough job.
This moment came for me about a month ago when I had spent hours sitting in rush hour traffic to take my daughter to an orthodontist appointment ACROSS town, when she was actually supposed to go to the location that is 10 minutes from our home. I was so mad. Mad that I had wasted so much time and diesel, had missed my workout class, but mostly mad that I had not kept ALL OF THE THINGS straight in my head…
And then, it happened. The straw that broke this Momma’s back.
I was in the gym working out, when the Childcare director came in and asked me to step outside. I will never forget what she said next…
“Mrs. Trouy, we think your kids have LICE…”
I was totally blindsided. Totally! I had never had them as a child and I thought only *whispers* dirty people got them! My kids take baths! I swear they do!! They may not look like it because we live on a farm and they play in the dirt EVERYDAY, but I swear we aren’t nasty people!
I felt so ashamed as I went into the childcare room to collect my kiddos. My dirty little munchkins who had contaminated the entire YMCA with their head bugs. I tried lying to myself, “They don’t have dang head lice! They were just confused. It was probably just a gnat or something!”
But alas, when I got home and I parted Jo’s mousy brown mop, there they were. Nasty little blood sucking bugs and all their nits… I was horrified. I washed EVERYTHING in our house and started treating Jo with what I had at home, which was Coconut Oil and Tea Tree Essential Oils. I knew that if Madi had them too, I would have to get something stronger. So when she had the same little nasty critters running amuck in her beautiful blond locks, I went to the store and bought two boxes of Rid.
Let me tell you RIGHT NOW. RID DOES NOT WORK. Apparently these little jokers have gone all X-Men and become Super Lice, which are resistant to most treatments. WHAT?! Yep. We treated THREE times with Rid. Not once, not twice, but THREE times. And. They. Still. Had. Nits.
And trust me, after each treatment, I sat for HOURS with the headlamp, comb and two screaming kids (the baby never got it thank goodness) and picked out each and every little egg. Another word of advice, the combs suck too. I took the tweezers and would just pluck the whole damn hair out. They have plenty of hair. Nobody is going to miss a strand or two… or sixty…
Three treatments should let you know that this went on for weekssss… I was at the end of my proverbial rope. I was constantly terrified that we still had them and that we were contaminating everyone in every place we went! When I discovered these little jackasses AGAIN, I knew I needed to do something different. So I called the Pediatrician to see if they could call me in something stronger. They did. AND IT WAS TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS…. EACH!
Ummm… no thank you. Flash forward to me sitting on the floor, Indian style in the Lice section of Walgreens reading the ingredient label of every option out there while my 7 year old tried to wrangle my 4 and 1 year olds because I was done Momming. There is only so much of me to go around and that bottle was bone dry at this point. We ended up taking home a box of Nix (the generic of course) and I can finally shout from the rooftops: We are Lice FREEEEEE!!!!
Those three weeks were pure Mommy hell for me. I finally snapped one night because I had done all of it alone. We always discovered the nits during the day while Matt was at work, so he basically got to skip out on ALL of the Lice fun… This literally consumed me for weeks. The treating, the cleaning, the worry… All while life continued around us. Laundry, dishes, dinner, dance…
And let me also mention here that I know this is really NOTHING in the grand scheme of things. My children are healthy and happy and for that, I am insanely grateful.
But, as I finally got rid of those pesky little parasites, it dawned on me that I had survived. When I thought I could take absolutely NO more and that all this HAD to be a joke, I had kept going. I may have been on Auto-Pilot, but I kept going none the less. And you know why? Because I am a Momma. Because God entrusted me with these three precious little babes, and whether I realized it or not, He as been preparing me all along for times just like this. For times when I throw my hands in the air and yell, “I can’t take anymore!”
Yes, yes you can. He knows you. He knows you oh, so much more than you know yourself. And when you are feeling this way and you just don’t know if you can continue, just remember, it was no accident that your sweet children have been placed in your care. God knew all along that you were meant for this. You were meant to be an amazing, laundry doing, hair braiding, dinner making, working, cleaning, booboo kissing BADASS..
And let me tell you, “You’ve got this Momma!”